when you get closer to someone, unintentionally, it is so damn hard to detach yourself and to move on....

buti na lang may pinagkakabusy-han ako, medyo naaliw kahit papaano. sabi nga ng iba mas madali para sa aalis, mas mabigat sa mga maiiwan...which is basically true.

hayyy, ayun na lang ang maisasagot mo kapag nagbabalik-tanaw ka or di kaya pag may nagtatanong kung nasaaan at kumusta na siya.

pero teka, para yatang hindi na ito bago para sa akin, ilang beses na ba itong nangyari pero heto nakakapagtaka lang siguro nga nagmature na rin ako kung paano tanggapin ang mga ganitong sitwasyon.

minsan naiisip ko tuloy, pattern na ito sanayin ko dapat ang sarili ko...maging manhid? imposible yata yon, ganito na lang, sanayin ko na simula pa lang ay wala ng expectations, hayaan lang kung anu anjan...

"Seize the Day!"

baka nga nakalimutan ko na rin ang mantra ko na ito...kung masyado naman akong mag-cling sa ibang tao dehado ako, olats, depressed, at malamang mag-breakdown na naman ako.

so pag may aalis, lalayo, malayo, di physically present...siguro naman maaalala din ako ng mga taong naging bahagi na ng "journey" ko. iyon lang sana huwag nila akong kalimutan.

kung pupuwede lang sana hawakan ang oras...

pero salamat na lang din at sa konting panahon may mga nakasabay ako sa aking paglalakbay, at mapapangiti na lang ako kapag may naaalala ako :)

may pagsusulit na naman bukas...sana lang di ako mangamote, bakit ba kasi kung kailan bukas saka pa lang ako magbabasa ng mga lesson..uber tamad ba ako o walang lang ako sa hulog. sige magdahilan ka pa, para sa iyo din naman lahat ng ito at ang pagkakaalam ko eh isa ito sa mga tatlong major major na dapat mong tapusin...(sounds like "100 days to heaven" kuha mo?!)

so dahil sa siguradong kukulangin na naman ako sa oras at papetix-petix na naman ko, maghanda ka na ng mga 3 litrong kape dahil puyatan na ito...at pede ba huwag na akong umangal dahil sa FB nga nagpupuyat ako ng ganun ganun lang eh mga tulog pa sa mantika yung mga kausap ko at inaabangan.

soooo, papagalitan ko sarili ko (pause)


magtanda ka na kasi di ka na bata alalahanin mo na lang na suwerte ka pa rin at maipagpapatuloy mo pa ang mga naiwan mong "assignment"...3 yrs lang yan kayang -kaya ko yang tapusin...kasi kailangan mo talagang tapusin ang mga dapat mong gawin napending na iyan ng ilang taon kaya hindi ko na dapat pang idelay ulit.


oh siya ...

itutuloy...

Mula sa pira-pirasong palaisipan
isang pagtatangis ang sumibol sa
iisang lugar kung saan maraming
kang matutuklasan at matututunan

At bagamat lumipas ang na ang
mahabang panahon at sa di inaasahang
pagkakataon ay muling nagkita
upang simulang mabuo ang isang
palaisipan at unti-unting nagkakaroon
ng kasagutan ang mga dati'y tanong lamang.

Hindi man masikil and tunay na
damdamin, bawat sandali ay pilit binabawi
katumbas ng nag-uumapaw ng kaligayahan
mga ngiting hindi madaliang napapawi
na tila walang katapusan...

at kung sakaling magkalayo man
ay tiyak na mayroong babalikang
masayang alaala...at ang tanging hiling
ay isang karugtong ng isang awit

06 Hunyo 2011

Tuwang tuwa ako ng makita kong me message ung fb inbox ko mula sa isang kaibigan na matagal ko ng hindi nakikita. Sa sobrang saya napahaba ang reply ko sa isang sentence nyang mensahe…

Miss ko na siguro siya…siguro??? Sobra ko siyang na-miss, bugoy kasi siya at siya lang ang bukod tanging nakakatagal sa kasutilan ko (eh yun ang alam ko…)

Sana lang, magreply siya c”,)

reinassance


A butterfly…
dancing in the air
like papers in radiant colors
conspicuously, fluttering flight
My eyes got distracted.

A butterfly…
soon will disappear
cocooning, lifeless, and dull
but emerges later,
far more beautiful than before.

I feel elated, all of a sudden.

05 July ’11, calbine

palitaw

sa malamang marami-rami na rin akong naisusulat, iyong iba nga eh di ko na matandaan na sinulat ko pala yong mga yon. eywan ko baka lang nagtritrip lng ako ng mga panahon na yon kasi naman wala pang FB nung araw...

anyway...bakit nga ba palitaw ang title ng blog kong ito??? eh ewan ko naisip ko lng na parang may kabuluhan to sa aking buhay (hanep unang tirada pa lang seryoso na...hmmm di bagay)

may mga pangyayari kasi sa buhay ng isang tao na paulit-ulit na lang na nangyayari - sinasadya man o hindi, kaya nga di ba palitaw -- lulubog tas lilitaw...alam ko me mga miron na tulad kong magtatanong...paano naman ang niyog at asukal na me sesame seed, ganang akin yan ang mga nagbibigay tamis sa buhay. ang mga masasayang nangyayari sa buhay buhay.

Hmmm... naglalaway tuloy ako sa palitaw wala pa namang mabilhan niyan dito.

postal exchange

(Kuwait Towers)


While reading your posts, it reminds me of the same feeling I had when I landed here in Kuwait City. The only difference is that you will see Filipinos almost everywhere, so I don't feel alienated at all; there are no mountains here only mounds of sands but there are beautiful landscapes along the seaside, sculptured trees at the center islands of main roads, white sands along the beach where you can walk anytime on barefoot (showing of some skin are strictly prohibited for women – you'll see them basking under the sun or get sunk in the sea wearing their abayas).

Little by little I've learned a few Arabic words mostly used; sometimes I get the message by their gestures and facial expressions. Kuwait is an open city; expats like me has minimal restriction when it comes to clothing as long as you keep your private parts covered including thighs and arms.

Laws are highly regarded here, ignorance from it will put you behind bars or might as well you will be deported and blacklisted for several months. So to be safe, I stayed at home after work, supermarket during my off days or to Friday market (super laking ukayan at dibisorya in one place) where you can buy second hand stuff – from clothings, shoes (signature ones like Dr. Mortens) to interesting artifacts.

Currently, the weather is tolerable (maybe sanay na ko) the heat is up to 40+ but its dry, dust storms comes if the weather is changing from summer to winter v.v. (another one bites the dust hehehe).

just give it a thought...

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body
changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts.
They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest
woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Maya Angelou said this:

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life
does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a
life'.

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on
both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget
what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

kaleidoscope

With all these colors of my hallucinations, I am dying to know the depth of these patterns.